Teaching my daughter about payroll withholding

She did homework all week, so I owe her €10.
I give her €7.
That’s not €10.
"Okay, I retained the rest."
What does that mean?
"I kept €3 of your money."
But it’s my money.
"It was your money."
What are you doing with it?
Domestic infrastructure funding
What?
The roof over your head. The hallway you walk down to get to the bathroom. The locks that prevent strangers from entering.
You’re charging me for the hallway.
"I'm charging you for access to the hallway. The hallway itself was a capital expense."
You’re my dad. You’re supposed to...
"I’m also your government."
What if I don’t want to pay for the hallway?
"Then I can’t guarantee the hallway."
It’s a hallway. It’s already there.
"For now."
She asks what else the €3 covers.
Food, dispute resolution, maintenance of the nighttime lighting.
Dispute resolution?
"When your brother takes your toys and I make him return them. That’s funded by taxpayers."
That’s just being parents.
"That’s the Department of Justice."
And what about the food? You already feed me.
It’s a social program. Not everyone qualifies.
I am your daughter.
"That’s why you’re currently enrolled."
She wants to see where the money goes.
I tell her that would require a FOIA request.
What’s that?
A form that asks me to show her what I do with her money. The processing time is 6 to 8 weeks.
Six weeks to see where my €3 went?
It could be longer. We have limited staff.
There are two of you.
She asks how to get it back.
"It’s already spent."
Did you already spend my money?
"We had a budget deficit."
You took it 20 seconds ago.
"And the deficit existed 30 seconds ago. Timing is everything."
So I won’t get it back.
"I didn’t say that. You might be entitled to a refund."
From my own money.
"Correct. You just need to fill out a form telling me how much you earned."
You know how much I earned. You paid me.
"Okay, but I need you to tell me how much I paid you."
So you already know the answer.
"The important thing is compliance."
She asks what happens if she gets the number wrong.
"Punishment."
The money I don’t have because you already spent it?
"We could set up a payment plan."
I’m 8 years old.
"Monthly installments. Very manageable."
You’re going to penalize me for getting a number wrong that you already know, then make me pay with money you took from me.
"Now you’re understanding."
I want to talk to mom.
Mom isn’t a qualified representative. She can’t help you in this case.
She stormed off to her room, saying this was extortion.
She slammed the door.
That’s my little citizen.
I’ve never been more proud.